Absolutely Speaking

2012-01-18T13:41:00.001+01:00

Absolutely Not Enough Hours

2010-01-24T17:45:00.002+01:00

If you've stopped by this page, you may notice that I have not updated this blog in a while. . . there's a reason for that. It's not lack of interest, but a case of too many interests and too few hours to pursue them all. This one is a side interest for me, a small scratch that I felt the urge to scratch.

I'm not going to take it down, but am going to stop worrying about it. I have found the past six months, that time is a precious commodity and absolutely limited to 24 hours a day, and I haven't been able to squeeze any more juice out of that lemon, no matter how hard I try.

If I stumble either on a delightfully appropriate or supremely silly use of the word "absolutely," this blog will still be here for it.

Absolutely Not the Pig's Fault

2009-07-08T12:57:00.010+02:00

It's always a hoot to watch what people will get all worked into a lather over next, and who they will blame. Americans and the networks don't like for anything to interrupt a good panic attack. So, the poor pigs have taken a lot of undeserved flak for the latest influenza strain.

There's been an awful lot of unnecessary killing (in the hundreds of thousands) and avoidance of pork chops.

Just wash your hands, silly, and avoid your sick friends, not the poor, innocent piggies.

Watch more videos by Putnam Pig.

Absolutely Subliminal

2009-07-05T08:26:00.004+02:00

I'm not so sure that subliminal messages buried in ring tones or advertisements can alter our behavior, maybe our mood, but increase breast size? This is either absolutely amazing, or perhaps absolutely bogus. I'll let you be the judge.

Did you spot the subliminal message in the flowers? Did it have any effect on you other maybe a making you chuckle? Me, either. Maybe they need one that says "homework" or "study" or "clean your room" for kids. I don't think it would work, but that's an experiment that I'd be willing to try.

Absolutely Animated

2009-06-24T11:46:00.006+02:00

Jim Clark, "London videographer sound recordist photographer archivist" has created and is in the process of creating virtual animations of famous people singing or reciting poetry. He starts with still images, uses computer morphing technology to bring them to life and then matches them up with recordings of their work.

I first discovered his YouTube channel of literary greats reciting their lines. This is really cool stuff. Whether you like poetry or find it difficult to understand, try watching one of these videos. Something about not only listening to the author or a professional actor or actress reading the lines, combined with watching the lips move and the facial expressions change on these images, brings it alive. I plan to use these next school year with my reading and English students, much more fun than just reading from the text or listening to a sound recording alone.

If you click on the (more info) tag under the submitter on YouTube, you wlll find that Mr. Clark includes a treasure trove of information about the authors and their work.

Here is the author Edward Lear reading The Owl and the Pussycat for your enjoyment, but be sure to visit Mr. Clark's channel: poetryanimations to see dozens more animations, including everyone famous from Shakespeare to Edgar Allan Poe.

Mr. Clark has also taken old blues recordings and animated them using images of the original artists. I'm sure his work is helping keep the music and memory of these artists alive. This one is a virtual movie of the great Huddie Ledbetter "Leadbelly" singing "The Rock Island Line".

Leadbelly "Rock Island Line" Blues animation
Uploaded by bluesanimations. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.

Visit Jim Clark's bluesanimation page to watch and listen to more great old recordings.

Absolutely Irrepressible Grandmas

2009-06-20T07:54:00.009+02:00

I admire people who refuse to act their age.

There are quite a few videos on the Internet of grandmas dancing and performing rap, but what I like about these two is that these daring and irrepressible women are doing their own thing in public places, not set up by their grandkids or at family parties. Their dancing comes from within, because they love to dance, and who should ever stop dancing?

This is not what people expect grandmas to be capable of.

Go, grandmas! No limits!

The delightful image at the top of the post Dancing Grandma! is from Ryan Opaz's photo blog.

Absolutely Audrey

2009-06-18T11:08:00.003+02:00

Bob Willoughby has posted a collection of 46 photos Audrey Hepburn on his Flickr account. They just don't come any classier than Audrey Hepburn, and these images, which have never been published or displayed were taken between 1953 and 1963. Hmm, it may be time to pop one of my favorite movies, Charade, into the DVD player, not the new one, of course, but the original with Audrey and Cary Grant. Enjoy the show.

Audrey Hepburn Photo Gallery

P.S., Mr. Willoughby has many other absolutely wonderful photos from his long career posted on the Flickr account. Thanks, Mr. Willoughby, for sharing them. Note that by sharing them, I do not mean they are yours to use . . . all rights reserved, folks.

Absolutely Cool

2009-06-11T18:31:00.006+02:00

A friend posted this one on Facebook. It is fun to watch and listen to the choir use just their hands to create the effects of a rainstorm, and their version of Toto's Africa is nicely done. The group is from Slovenia, which explains the lack of ethnic diversity we might expect in an American choir, but was this cool? Absolutely.

Absolutely Unbelievable Luck

2009-05-07T20:04:00.001+02:00

Chance
by titounetsan

I think this has to be a collection of some of the luckiest chance encounters.

I'm still chuckling over how the bank robbers get away.

SOURCE

Absolutely Insane

2009-05-05T18:55:00.002+02:00

EMBED-Office Worker Goes Absolutely Insane - Watch more free videos
The title of this video is Office Worker Goes Absolutely Insane. At first, I thought the guy was just tired of being forced to use Windows, but this is pretty extreme. I don't know if he was absolutely insane, but he was absolutely out of control.

Source

Absolutely Wonderful

2009-05-02T20:08:00.002+02:00

My daughter tells me she saw this one 3 weeks ago. I wish someone had pointed it out to me sooner. Music lifts the spirit in a way that nothing else can, but music with dance, where the dance is not separate from the audience but pulls the audience into the joy, that's magic. That's transformational. Thank you, whoever put this together. Thanks for sharing the joy. I don't know if anybody else put the "absolutely" on this one, but I think it is deserving. This was absolutely wonderful.

Absolutely Bad Behavior

2009-04-19T20:41:00.005+02:00

Someone added subtitles to this YouTube sensation. I have no idea what the woman really said. Reports are she missed her flight from Hong Kong to San Francisco. I have trouble imagining a circumstance in which a missed flight would justify a temper tantrum, unless she was supposed to donate a kidney, and even then, I think she could have handled the situation with more dignity. I understand she was put on a later flight, sedated, I hope. I loathe silly women. I'm glad I haven't had the displeasure of meeting this one.

Absolutely Bunny

2009-04-09T14:56:00.009+02:00

The Division of Easter Bunny Affairs (DEBA) has laid down some rules for all Easter Bunnies, including a few absolute no-no's:

•Absolute commitment to the cause of promoting Easter.
•Absolutely all energy devoted to Easter during the Season itself.

Sadly, it describes the work of "burrowing, making eggs, and hiding eggs" as one that must be done alone. No socializing outside of "pre-approved, pre-selected socialization periods."
• Absolutely against DEBA policy: using eggs to convey personal or political messages.

Apparently, Healthy Bunny has been leaving messages about exercising, like Exercise: 90 minutes 3 days a week to lose weight, 30 minutes for general health. This is absolutely unacceptable unless the messages are framed within Easter fun, like the classic Keep Hoppin'.

DEBA cautions against the call to unionize, naming the group Easter Bunnies for Unionization (EBU), as improper bunnies who may be stripped of their Cottontail baskets and relieved of all Easter Bunny duties.

They also advise that one always refer to Easter Bunnies in plural to avoid bothersome gender confusion.

Image credit for my Easter message goes to Farscape, a great series. It's out on DVD if you missed it. You can download the image of John Crichton and Harvey as an Easter wallpaper for your computer (without my Easter wishes) HERE.

Absolutely Crazy Vietnamese Transportation

2009-03-29T12:45:00.000+02:00

At One Man's Blog, there's a post on Vietnamese Transportation with some photos and videos to back up his claims that it is absolutely crazy trying to drive there with all the huge trucks, people on bikes and scooters, and carts and wagons pulled by farm animals, with no one paying much attention to the traffic laws. He may be right. Check out these photos from his blog and check out his blog to see the rest.

Above, a small motorcycle heavily laden with ceramic pots.

Below, the one that really gets me is this little horse pulling this horribly oversized load. Poor baby.

Absolutely Amazing, Really?

2009-03-27T18:15:00.002+01:00

The title for this happy customer's photo in the Rascal Community Gallery is "Absolutely Amazing":

Comfortable and dependable, my Rascal has the power to climb even the steepest hill in front of my home!

Don't get me wrong. The invention of these scooters has given greater mobility to many of the elderly, people injured in accidents, as well as the weight-enhanced. My mother (80 this coming December) has one. She uses it to get her mail from the mailbox. I'm happy for the guy, and happy for my mom, but somehow, I don't think the day I am reduced to getting around on one of these because my own two legs can't carry me any more is going to be absolutely amazing.

No scooter is ever going to be cool, let alone absolutely amazing.

Absolute Bull

2009-03-24T19:49:00.005+01:00

Absolutely, so hip in advertising other products and services,

is even popping up in the animal kingdom.

On the site, Showsteers.com you can get an eyeful of the top bull sires of 2008:

Absolut

Stream Cattle Company IA :

and

Phildon Absolutely ET

Owned by Phildon Farms Shorthorns IN

A couple of hunks, aren't they? Besides these two absolute beefcakes, there's a host of others with interesting names.

Here are my favorites.

Hmm, some of these seem to be puns:

Dream Maker

Eye Candy

Buddy Love

Family Man

I am Legend

Ladies Man

Performance Enhancer

Point Taken

Red Hot and Rollin

and

Orange Crush

If these get you hot and bothered, visit the cow eye candy @ Showsteers.com and see these guys on the hoof.

Absolutely Nothing

2009-03-08T01:00:00.001+01:00

Clearly, there are things here, dirt, road, telephone lines, scrub brush, the odd jack rabbit or two. By absolutely nothing, we assume they mean no towns, no houses, not even shacks, no gas stations, no water, perhaps even no cell phone towers . . . so be sure your car is in good working condition on this stretch of road, because help may be a while in reaching you.

Absolutely Starving

2009-03-01T01:05:00.001+01:00

Need some good grub?

If you are absolutely starving, there is a place for you in London, a delicatessen by the name of Absolutely Starving. I'm hungry. Shall we do lunch?

Learn more HERE.

Absolutely Not

2009-02-20T19:30:00.005+01:00

I love the look of this children's book written and illustrated by Matthew McElligott. The story of a couple of bus who go on a walk, in which one is brave and daring, and one is absolutely not, looks like a good read. Check it out HERE at the website.

Absolutely Idiotic

2009-02-17T20:40:00.002+01:00

http://carfail.com/
We all know that parking lots are dangerous. Some people have mastered the art; others are parking challenged. The Cars Fail Blog collects images of absolutely bad parking, along with some horrific crashes, but it makes for interesting viewing. To see more or send in your photos and videos, visit their blog.

Absolutely Hair

2009-02-13T23:44:00.000+01:00

If you live near Parkes, Australia, you can have your hair done here. Not sure about nails, since the name only mentions hair. Perhaps Absolutely Nails is around the corner.

The word Absolutely continues to be popular in advertising. It seems to offer the promise that people know what they are about. While we expect a certain amount of wishy-washy in a salon : smile:, we prefer the rest of the work to be absolutely reliably good, right, perfect. The implied message here is that if you visit this shop, you will absolutely love the results. Good luck with that : fingers crossed:.

They have a page on Facebook. You can visit HERE

or visit the salon itself @

Shop 8 Parkes Metroplaza

279 Clarinda Street

Parkes, Australia, 2870

Absolutely Ape

2009-02-08T16:08:00.004+01:00

Nobody goes absolutely ape, like a real ape.

The San Diego Zoo has an exhibit called "Absolutely Apes" with a live cam you can watch HERE. You may catch a glimpse of the orangutans or siamangs, who share the habitat.

If the apes aren't out, watch the pandas, polar bears or elephants. Plenty of fun for everyone, absolutely speaking.

Absolutely Nothing Wrong

2009-01-31T15:28:00.008+01:00

Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich declared "I have done absolutely nothing wrong. I never intended to violate any law," but nobody is buying it, so bye, bye, governor. Clearly, you need a reality check. Thanks for the laughs. Loved you on Saturday Night Live.

In a humorous sidenote, state workers worked within minutes of the impeachment to remove the former governor's image and name from signs and websites. As they took down Blagojevich's photo and nameplate from the state capitol's welcome sign, one employee quipped,"Was that quick enough?" to which another responded,"Do we need to throw a shoe?"

Image from the Huffington Post

Absolutely Avoidable

2009-01-30T16:25:00.014+01:00

CCTV shows escaping prisoners colliding with a pole
Uploaded by ITN

Watching these two idiots is surprisingly rewarding. They could have avoided humiliation, but didn't. Prisoners in New Zealand, they had just been sentenced to some time in prison, and they bolted for freedom as they were leaving the courthouse. Pepper spray was unable to bring them down, but the light pole did the trick. Good thing the cops put it where they did.

My husband used to quip sometimes when a person had trouble figuring out how to open a door, "You have to be smarter than the door." Apparently these two were not as smart as the pole. Having failed to achieve freedom, they'll have to settle for notoriety.

Absolutely Hilarious Bathroom Mirror Prank

2009-01-16T08:19:00.000+01:00

Absolutely Hilarious Bathroom Mirror Prank - Watch more free videos
This is a pretty good prank. I like the part where she had the woman thinking she was invisible, depending on whether she had her glasses on or not.

Absolutely No Climbing

2009-01-09T16:25:00.000+01:00

I think she means business.
And some people do need to be told not to do something in absolute terms.

Absolutely, You Know?

2009-01-02T10:57:00.005+01:00

When I was making up the list of overused words for the survey on the right and the list of past greats for the post below, I considered and rejected the phrase "you know," because I thought it was so past, so over, so nobody-says-that-anymore. Oops. My bad.

Thanks, Samantha Wienke, for bringing this to my attention! : ))

Absolutely Hopeful

2008-12-31T19:58:00.003+01:00

The New Year is usually represented by a baby, because babies represent hope. Every parent is absolutely hopeful that their young one will enjoy a good life, perhaps even a better one than their own. Let us all be hopeful that 2009 will be better than 2008. Happy New Year, everyone!

Absolutely Never Ending

2008-12-29T13:00:00.007+01:00

I've put up a survey on the right-hand side for you to check the words and phrases in current use that you most find annoying. I hope it will be therapeutic. Take that, you stupid words! Yes, I know it's not complete. Buzz words come and go. Some of these have been a round a while. Others came from current events and will hopefully disappear in time.

I'm interested to hear your views. So, please feel free to comment.

If we were to take a more historic view, we'd have to add some of these all time greats:
The mother-of-all . . .
We're taking this to a new level
At the end of the day
Yeah, right!
You think?
Shut UP!
Fairly unique
My bad
From the get-go
Win/win situation
No problem (my son still says this one all the time!)
Begs the question
With it
Happening
Not rocket science
Politically correct
To be totally honest . . .

It's a never-ending list, isn't it? And to be totally honest (Really, I mean it!), as I looked at the words and phrases listed on various websites, I nodded frequently, but occasionally thought, Hey! I use that one! I still like it . . . so, in the end I'm going to conclude (trying to be diplomatic here) . . . it's not what you say, it's how well you communicate your ideas in whatever situation you are in. If it works, use it. If it gets a laugh, even better!

To keep up with the latest in buzzwords, visit BuzzWhack.com. I went there today and learned a new one:

jingle mail: To simply mail your house keys back to the bank because the mortgage is worth more than the house itself. (Pssst: The keys "jingle" in the otherwise empty envelope.)

Absolutely Nobody Died

2008-12-29T00:15:00.000+01:00

In 1991, a man named David Powers, changed his name to Absolutely Nobody and ran for lieutenant governor of Washington State. He thought the office was unnecessary, and asked voters to vote for him, a way to vote absolutely nobody into the office, which is a great double pun. He pledged to abolish the office, if elected.

My friends and I got to talking last fall, saying "What if nobody was on the ballot? So I planned to change my name to just plain Nobody to capitalize on that voter frustration. But then a friend suggested I make it Absolutely Nobody, for emphasis. Plus it gives me a first name.

He ran as an independent and his bumper stickers read "Elect Nobody, Absolutely Nobody for Lt. Governor."

He received 130,114 votes, or 7 per cent of the statewide total. Absolutely Nobody had a great sense of humor, but he also had Aids and passed away from complications in January 1993. He was 37 years old. As far as I know, the office of lieutenant governor still exists. I suppose if we got rid of that one, we'd have to get rid of other useless offices, such as the office of Vice-President. Hmm, that might have saved us a lot of grief over the last 8 years. Perhaps Absolutely Nobody was onto something.

Ahnold for President? Absolutely

2008-12-28T08:00:00.002+01:00

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger tells "60 Minutes" correspondent Scott Pelley that he would "absolutely" like to be U.S. president if the Constitution could be changed to allow foreign-born Americans to run for the White House.

"Well, you're a man of no small ambition. If the Constitution was changed, you'd like to be president, wouldn't you?" Pelley asked.

"Yeah, absolutely," Schwarzenegger acknowledged. "I think that I am always a person that looks for the next big goal. And I love challenges. I always set goals that are so high, that are almost impossible to achieve. Because then, you're always hungry for climbing and climbing. Because it's always interesting. The climb is always interesting. When you get there you just have to pick another goal."

Article posted on Huffington Post.

"When you get there, you just have to pick another goal"? So, what would be the next goal after President of the United States if "you're always hungry for climbing and climbing,"and it is the climb that "is always interesting," Emperor of the Moon? I'm not sure I would vote for someone who sees the office of President of the United States as just the "next big goal," just another notch in the big champ's belt.

Cuba Absolutely

2008-12-27T18:31:00.005+01:00

Absolutely continues to be a popular word. It is often used loosely to imply that something is either exclusively about a topic or as a claim to being the best.

Here is a link to Cuba Absolutely, a magazine produced by Cuba Directo, a UK tour operator specializing in Cuba. They produced a first issue (2007). This is their second issue (2008/2009), so they produce a new one one every year or so. I suppose it is absolutely about Cuba. I have no idea if it is the best.

Hmm, wondering if I should change my name to Absolutely Judy. After all, there could be no better me than me.

Absolutely No Crockery

2008-12-26T11:55:00.002+01:00

No clue.

Posted on Flickr by gilsesbooth

Seasons Greetings 2008

2008-12-24T16:50:00.001+01:00

Absolutely No Nude Bathing

2008-12-17T17:59:00.009+01:00

Does using the word ABSOLUTELY help?

Or is it like saying, I really mean it! while stamping your foot.

Do the kind of people who ignore No Swimming signs

ignore this one, too?

Photo of the beach sign posted on Flickr by Joe Shlabotnik.
No Swimming by Norman Rockwell

Absolutely Joe the Plumber

2008-12-13T12:38:00.011+01:00

This guy really likes to talk, especially when there are cameras and microphones around. He became an overnight celebrity by becoming John McCain's new BFF/mascot on the presidential campaign trail. I haven't found any examples of him actually praising John McCain's policies. Instead he seemed only willing to say things like McCain was a great American and that everyone needs to be educated about the issues and hold politicians accountable. Not exactly a stirring endorsement, so it strikes me that joining the McCain campaign was a cynical move on his part, an opportunity to stay in the spotlight.

It doesn't seem to matters to him whose spotlight he's in or whether he deserves to be in the spotlight. Pretty much any spotlight will do for this guy. He's an opportunist, who is going to squeeze every extra second he can get out of his 15 minutes of fame. And he's counting on people's short memories as he recreates himself to fit his changing circumstances.

During his time on the campaign trail, he said some very unflattering things about Barack Obama, which would lead one to conclude he did not think him suitable to lead the country, such as claims that Obama would turn America into a socialist state and that a vote for Obama would be a vote for the death of Israel (Holy crap!). And yet, the day after the election, he did an about-face in US Magazine.com.

Joe the Plumber: I Can "Absolutely" Accept Obama as President
WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 5, 2008

Joe the Plumber's take on Barack Obama's victory?

"Hey, the American people spoke. They elected Barack Obama as our president and our new Commander in Chief, and I’m behind that 100 percent," he said on Wednesday's The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet.

Even though he supported John McCain, he said he can "absolutely" accept Obama "as my president. Like I said, the people spoke."

Now he's bashing John McCain and saying that Sarah Palin was the real deal. Either this man does all his thinking with his little brain, or this is just another example of Cynical Joe leaving his options open.

December 9 article on Politico.com:

Recalling a conversation he had with McCain about the $700 billion financial industry bailout in September, Wurzelbacher said: “When I was on the bus with him, I asked him a lot of questions about the bailout, because most Americans did not want that to happen.

Asked why he didn’t leave McCain’s campaign if he was “appalled” by the candidate, Wurzelbacher said, “honestly, because the thought of Barack Obama as president scares me even more. . . . I asked him some pretty direct questions,” he continued. “Some of the answers you guys are gonna receive — they appalled me, absolutely. I was angry. In fact, I wanted to get off the bus after I talked to him.”

While Wurzelbacher was critical of McCain during the interview, he had nothing but praise for his running mate, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin. “Sarah Palin is absolutely the real deal,” he said.

Another great Joe the Plumber quote:

“Once you find out the facts, they become quite obvious.”

I certainly hope so.

Absolutely No Head On Collisions

2008-12-07T09:45:00.002+01:00

Hmm, what do you think?

My guess is it has something to do with bumper cars.

Posted on Flickr by szlea

Absolutely Nothing • Personas

2008-12-06T17:14:00.004+01:00

Here's an example of someone breaking the first rule of writing, which is to communicate your meaning clearly. To set this up, for those of you who don't know (including me), here's an explanation of personas from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:

Personas are fictitious characters that are created to represent the different user types within a targeted demographic that might use a site or product. Personas are most often used as part of a user-centered design process for designing software or online applications, in which the goals, desires, and limitations of the user are considered when designing the product.

Gary Barber, AKA Man With No Blog, made a confusing statement about personas on his blog. Clearly, Gary is not a professional writer or an English major. His area of expertise is not in writing, but his misuse of the popular phrase absolutely not, is confusing for his readers.

A while back M****** H****** had a glance over the usefulness of personas, I have to agree with what he had to say, they tend to be under used.
I have encountered the odd projects where they has been a distinct undercurrent to just jettison personas altogether. After all what are they good for … absolutely nothing.

•First, he says they are "under used," which means they should be used more.
•Then he says they are "good for ... absolutely nothing." Huh?
•He spends the rest of the article promoting the uses of personas.

•Okay they are not real people, but they are the next best thing.
•Hence personas become great for confirming a walkthrough of a system before you code anything.
•The solution here is to remind management that access to real people is good, but it is expensive in the longer term for every minor issue. The use of personas is the solution.

So, in the end, Man With No Blog clearly finds them highly useful. His statement at the beginning of his article that there is absolutely no use for them will likely confuse anyone who reads it believing the phrase absolutely nothing means what it says. Those who are interested in the topic may read on and gain clarity, but some may stop right there and click on to another site. Such confusion could easily be avoided, if writers just say what they mean, and use figurative language with care.

This is just an unfortunate example of a person using the words absolutely nothing as literary decoration, rather than to convey meaning, something to hang out in the sentence like a piece of modern art in the hall for guests to puzzle over and wonder how it ended up there.

Illustration: Maya in a Sailor Suit, by Pablo Picasso, Museum of Modern Art, New York

Absolutely Beautiful Photography

2008-12-03T12:22:00.008+01:00

The website www.absolutely-nothing.co.uk has some of the most beautiful landscape photography I've seen anywhere. This site may have taken a name that has doomed others of more foolish temperament, but this website is successful because it is not about nothing at all. It is all about absolutely breathtakingly beautiful landscape photography.

Photographer Tristan Campbell dedicates this site to his grandfather, Cyril Campbell, who was a Halifax sign writer. Photography was his lifelong passion. Tristan photographs the moors and crags of Yorkshire, England. He's had his site up and running since 2000.

Have a look-see. I'm sure you'll enjoy it, and since I love it so much, I'm going to have to let Tristan get away with using the words Absolutely Nothing for the name of a site that is clearly something special.

Another blog about absolutely nothing that died

2008-12-02T16:27:00.000+01:00

Everything Blog About Absolutely Nothing This one lasted a whole 3 months, from December 2006 till February 2007 by someone named "mother." There's not much here, some stuff about Home Equity Loans. I bet people are sorry they have those now that the economy is tanking, but I'm no economist. Neither was this blogger.

So . . . is it the name? A word of caution to anyone considering a blog name with the words "Absolutely Nothing" in it. Nothing is boring. I'm thinking absolutely nothing must be the most boring thing of all. It is one thing to choose this topic tongue-in-cheek, but if you are just using it as a catch-all phrase because you don't have a clear idea what you want to do with your blog, you're in trouble before you start.

Choose a topic for which you actually have ideas, opinions or expertise worth sharing, something that will keep your interest and about which other people are interested. It's hard to get a grip on absolutely nothing, let alone find people who want to read it.

Absolutely Nothing to Hide

2008-11-30T14:24:00.005+01:00

'We have absolutely nothing to hide'
Posted by Alaska_Politics
Posted: September 25, 2008 - 8:54 pm
Politicians should know better than to say they have "absolutely nothing to hide." It's never true. Where there is smoke, there is usually at least a small fire. If anyone can find an instance where a politician said this and didn't have to eat his or her words later when the truth came out, please point me there.

Wait a minute, they never eat their own words . . . they hem, haw, disavow knowledge, minimize their involvement, become memory-challenged, point the finger of blame at someone else, change the subject, ignore the question, generally try to pretend the unfortunate past didn't happen or wasn't all that important. They count on the public's short attention span.

God bless those independent-minded journalists who hold their feet to the fire . . . you know, the one that produced all the smoke.

The Art of Doing Absolutely Nothing

2008-11-28T07:14:00.001+01:00

Richard Lacayo, a photojournalist who writes for Time magazine, posted a very brief article in July titled The Art of Doing Absolutely Nothing. The link to the article indicates a different title: "the_art_of_goofing_off." At some point, someone, the author or an editor, may have decided that "The Art of Doing Absolutely Nothing" would be a better hook than "The Art of Goofing Off" and changed it. Basically, the author just says he is going on vacation, will be back in August, yadda yadda. No big whoop. The title is much grander than the article, not exactly truth in advertising.

In response to Mr. Lacayo's post, Tan Boon Tee wrote this comment:

Monday, August 4, 2008 at 11:32 pm
I would presume that doing absolutely nothing does not necessarily mean not doing anything at all – you are just doing thing you wish and in your own special way.

Non-action (or inaction) is the tenet of Taoism philosophy. Non-action is not to be equated to no action. It implies not doing anything against the law of nature. As long as the action follows the flow of nature, it does not counter the concept of non-action.

I have been yearning to do absolutely nothing in its modern connotation. It would be blissful in this hectic if not mad world. But I don't know how (let alone what or why).

(Tan Boon Tee)

I agree with Tan Boon Tee. It is impossible to do absolutely nothing. Mr. Lacayo accompanies his post with two pictures of people lying on a beach. Perhaps what he means by doing nothing, is being inactive or, at the least, unproductive. Nothing wrong with that. We spend too much time doing, and not enough time in stillness. It is good to get off the treadmill for a while, but even off the treadmill, lying on a beach, we are still doing something, if nothing more than goofing off.

Absolutely Nothing

2008-11-21T20:03:00.006+01:00

Here's a blog that started out with some energy, but then, like a crash test dummies' car, came to an abrupt halt, something about a wall. Someone started a blog called Absolutely Nothing about "nothing and everything else" with a group of "coconspirators." It appears to have been an attempt to use the blog format as a gathering place for a group of friends, a place to share funny links they found online and talk about about their personal interests, basically, share whatever was on their collective and individual minds. It could have worked, but it didn't.

Thursday, January 15, 2004
Is anybody listening?
hellooooo

Tuesday, January 27, 2004
OK, I have to take certain people to task. Despite their acceptance of my invitation to blog, they haven't posted yet. Tsk Tsk. I won't name names, but let's just say that they appear on the left hand side of your screen and not on the right.

After this little scold, there was a burst of posts, and for a couple of months, things moved briskly along. There were posts on many subjects, an eclectic mix of individual interests and personal life events.

Perhaps because this blog was started during a Presidential election year (Bush vs. Kerry), things gradually became more and more focused on the political and less and less on the whimsical. Eventually, this post by a minor participant in the blog reminds us that politics is a touchy subject (has it ever been anything else?):

Thursday, March 04, 2004
Catching Up
I have not read the blog since the middle of February and I was just streaming through it and I have a question. E**, why are you so critical of what others type? You seem to make negative comments rather often. Of course, I usually look at the dim side of life so it may just be my glum perception. I think it is interesting because in person, I feel, that you are not confrontational. Do you have some unresolved anger from your childhood?

That comment appeared to let some of the air out of whatever balloon was keeping this blog aloft. Despite attempts to keep it going, the number of posts dropped off sharply. By April, only one member was still posting. For whatever reason, the rest dropped off the radar.

Wednesday, May 19, 2004
Hello
Is anyone still out there? E**? A**? J*****? Anyone?

Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Here I am, writing into the abyss, trying to keep this thing alive...

Wednesday, September 08, 2004
Spam
According to this, 84% of all mail is spam. Bleah.
In other news, Blogger's posting screen looks much improved :)

And so it went . . . away, but like Ozymandias, what was written remains for all to see.

Sadly, a blog called Absolutely Nothing lived up to its name.

Absolutely Mediocre

2008-11-21T18:54:00.006+01:00

Famous Hollywood movie director, Billy Wilder, was a clever man who said a lot of funny things.

You have Van Gogh's ear for music.

I'd worship the ground you walked on if you lived in a better neighborhood.

My English is a mixture between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

I have ten commandments. The first nine are, thou shalt not bore. The tenth is, thou shalt have right of final cut.

I've met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

It was hell at the time, but after it was over, it was wonderful.

If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.

Clearly, he was a man who loved words and understood their meaning. So, I suspect that when he said "We are on the track of something absolutely mediocre," he was being funny and aware of what an odd pairing these two words are.

Mediocre:
Definition: Of a middle quality; of but a moderate or low degree of excellence; indifferent; ordinary.

Absolutely
Definition: totally, one hundred percent, completely

However, these two words are now frequently found together. Do we owe this to Billy Wilder or did he just make it popular? I don't know, but here are a few snippets from what I found on the Web when I did a websearch for the phrase "absolutely mediocre."

"The sandwich I had was absolutely mediocre to say the best." Mediocrity - A Way of Life

"Absolutely Mediocre...Don't Waste Your Money" -- Title of a review of The Sarah Connor Chronicles on Amazon.com

"Fable was pure molyneux: an over-hyped, under-delivered, absolutely mediocre game that got some decent reviews purely from the incredible hype it received before release." -- Gamespot.com

Absolutely mediocre hotel with the most pathetic breakfast... Tripadvisor.com

Wildly overpriced for the absolutely mediocre. Their food is so bland, their clothes ugly and nothing ever fits! my.telegraph.uk

Here's the one that made me stop and chuckle:

By Lester Haines

Posted in Bootnotes, 21st February 2006

Man reports crap dope to cops

A German pothead was cuffed after reporting his dealer to cops for supplying seven ounces of "completely unenjoyable" weed.

Darmstadt resident Hans-Juergen Bendt, 52, complained of the "fraud" after the retailer refused to refund him the £270 he'd shelled out for "absolutely mediocre quality" toke. The police decided to ignore the serious allegation against the dealer and charge Bendt instead with buying and possession of drugs.

Enough said.

Absolutely True News

2008-11-21T18:41:00.010+01:00

The website Absolutely True offers this disclaimer:

Weird, Bizarre and Strange News
All Absolutely True (except for the outright lies.)

The title is certainly an attention-getter, and the content is clearly meant to be entertaining, especially if you are interested in Anna Nichole, Britney Spears, or Paris Hilton, along with other oddballs and oddball news. The website is subdivided into categories. The category Stupid Criminals looks like it might make for fun reading.

Absolutely True • Pajamas and Orangejello

2008-11-21T18:09:00.005+01:00

Here's a twist on the absolutely true story, as reported at teachers.net.

The writer reports that in the course of her teaching career she had two different girl students, one named Pajamas and the other, Orangejello.

The mother of the first loved staying in her pajamas all day long, so she named her daughter after her PJ's.

When Orangejello's mother was in the hospital to deliver her baby, she was given a menu, which listed jello as one of the food choices of the day. Due to a typo, it appeared on the menu as "orangejello." The momma couldn't figure out what the word was, and had to have it explained to her. Apparently, she found it charming enough, that she passed it on to her child.

Believe it or not.

Speaking of orange jello, this illustration isn't real orange jello at all. It's a candle, absolutely true. You can buy it and candles in many other jello flavors plus an assortment of other food depictions at Mellow Candles. While there, feel free to shop for baby names.

10 Awesome Dog Bridal Gowns

2008-11-19T17:10:00.008+01:00

If, like Jay Leno, you find the idea of dressing up dogs in clothing ludicrous and disgusting, then you will not find anything awesome about these doggie bride outfits.

On the other hand, anybody who would plan a wedding for a dog or dress a dog in a wedding gown probably feels comfortable using the word.

Aside from the disturbing image of dogs dressed as brides, there is also some priceless advertising copy found here:

"What clotheshorse little princess wouldn't love to wear this at her wedding?"
"Ah this pretty poodle... I wonder if she's having last minute regrets?"
"Whew! Aren't these bridal gowns just too too?"
"Beautiful lace work with clear sequins to reflect your dog's charm."
"For the dog who loves the spotlight, she'll be proud to pose for wedding photos with or without her groom in her English lace, spotted with thousands of pearls, sequins, and reflective silver material."
"Most wedding gowns do not come with dog panties. If your dog is wearing a short gown, you may want to purchase some matching panties."

I especially liked that last little bit of practical advice. One wouldn't want to have a wardrobe malfunction during the great event!

Visit the website to view the other lovely ladies (along with some clearly not living clotheshorse doggies) and their lovely gowns!

If, like me, you think that people who love their animals should resist the urge to dress them up, read what this blogger has written: Dog Owners Who Truly Love Their Dogs Don't Dress Them in Clothing

I'm not sure that all dog clothing should be off limits, only those that serve no useful purpose. There's a man who walks his German Shepherd past our house on a daily basis. Lately, the man has been wearing a rain jacket and the dog a rain slicker of a matching slick fabric. Where I live, it rains a lot, and this time of year, the sun comes up late and goes down early. Both coats, the man's and the dog's, have reflective stripes, and this time of year, it makes both of them much more visible, so I'm going to give him a pass on this one, as long as I don't see them wearing matching tees come Spring.

Absolutely Awesome Bird Toys

2008-11-19T16:28:00.008+01:00

A friend pointed out to me that another overused word is awesome.

She lives in southern California, so perhaps this isn't surprising, since when I hear this word, I picture a laid back surfer dude or Crush, the turtle in Finding Nemo, as in "You've got serious thrill issues, dude . . . awesome!"

Awesome

Definition: Extremely impressive or daunting; inspiring great admiration; extremely good; excellent

Synonyms: awe-inspiring, breathtaking, magnificent, wonderful, impressive, mind-boggling, jaw-dropping, excellent

Her comment reminded me that these two words are often paired, so I went looking and found this website that lists 10 absolutely awesome bird toys. Many of the photos of the toys have birds photoshopped into them. However, there are also videos of birds and toys together and some photos of real birds with the toys. The toys look pretty cool to me. They are cute, but I assume that more cute toys will come out next year and the year after that and the year after that, variations on a theme, so absolutely awesome? I leave that decision up to you.

This link will take you to the article: 10 Absolutely Awesome Bird Toys that Satisfy their Natural Instincts

There's a lot of other interesting stuff at this website, which highlights the latest new stuff. Check it out. The link under the title of this post will take you to their Home Page.

Absolutely No Regrets

2008-11-17T19:34:00.002+01:00

Really? No regrets whatsoever? That seems unlikely. I have mountains of regrets.

What do people really mean by this? Does it mean what it seems, that some people honestly don't learn anything from their mistakes, not even to recognize that they have made any?

Is this said in recognition that one's life hasn't turned out too badly, or that going back in time to correct their mistakes might alter the time/space continuum in an unseen unfortunate way? Or should I resist looking for a deep meaning here, because it just sounds so cute?

You can purchase a glitter tee with this message or any message your heart desires at Crystal Cosmos Couture.

Absolutely Real Free Ringtone

2008-11-15T18:17:00.005+01:00

Nothing I can think of is as funny as just reading this one.

Absolutely Fabulous

2008-11-15T18:02:00.006+01:00

First broadcast in 1992.

Is this when people stopped taking the word absolutely seriously?

Absolutely Overdone

2008-11-15T07:53:00.007+01:00

Have you noticed how the word absolutely has leaped into the mainstream of American speech? It's everywhere. People are using it as a term of agreement in situations far less extreme than this word would imply is appropriate.

What does ABSOLUTE mean? (Oxford American Dictionary)

SOURCE: Latin, absolutus, freed, unrestricted
DEFINITION: total, not qualified or diminished in any way.
SYNONYMS: total, utter, complete, entire, perfect, pure, unconditional, unqualified, certain, positive, unquestionable, incontrovertible, conclusive, infallible, unbounded, infinite, ultimate, supreme
ANTONYM: partial, qualified

I understand that language evolves, but what is it with this word? It's all over the airwaves, particularly in evidence on talk shows and interviews, and most recently overused in the US presidential race. It has become the default, the go-to agreement word in conversation, and has reached an annoying level of overexposure that has rendered it nearly meaningless (notice I did not say absolutely meaningless).

I hope that the diplomatic corps sitting in a negotiation setting, perhaps in which the North Koreans make a statement with which we and our allies may find a small element of agreement, do not slip up and say "Absolutely," when they do not absolutely agree.

Here's a typical example from Barack Obama, our President Elect during the Democratic Presidential debate.

ANDERSON COOPER: Senator Obama, I'm going to have to let you respond.

OBAMA: Absolutely.

It is hard to believe that John McCain absolutely agreed that this was a good message. It is more likely he was using the word, like Barack Obama, as a simple affirmative

Another unfortunate use of the word by Senator McCain is found an the April 6, 2008 Washington Post article:

Sen. John McCain, the presumptive Republican nominee for president, said Sunday that the leader for the Democratic nomination, Sen. Barack Obama, would be "absolutely" qualified to be president, should the voters elect him. But, he said, "I believe that my talent and my background and my experience, which has led to my judgment, ... qualifies me more."

McCain: Obama 'Absolutely' Qualified to Be President

So, is it possible to be more qualified than an absolutely qualified candidate?

In the first debate with John McCain, of the 11 times Barack Obama sued the word absolutely, six of them were to say he absolutely agreed with Senator McCain.

Absolutely agreeing with Senator McCain:

OBAMA: Well, I think Senator McCain's absolutely right that we need more responsibility, but we need it not just when there's a crisis.

OBAMA: Well, Senator McCain is absolutely right that the earmarks process has been abused.

OBAMA: Now, John mentioned the fact that business taxes on paper are high in this country, and he's absolutely right.

OBAMA: Senator McCain is absolutely right that the violence has been reduced as a consequence of the extraordinary sacrifice of our troops and our military families.

OBAMA: And, John, I -- you're absolutely right that presidents have to be prudent in what they say.

OBAMA: Senator McCain is absolutely right, we cannot tolerate a nuclear Iran.

One had to wonder what it was that he really meant. One poster at the TPM (Talking Points Memo) Café expressed it this way:

If Barack Obama has common ground with John McCain on a few details of their differing policy positions, what he should make clear to the audience is not that McCain is "absolutely right" about it, but rather that Obama himself believes and has said thus and so, and that he is "pleased that Senator McCain agrees with me on that point.

Talking Points Memo

Barack Obama stopped saying he absolutely agreed with John McCain after that debate (perhaps because there was so much commentary about it), but he continued to use the word absolutely in his campaign to talk about his ideas and what he would do. Noticeably, the word was absent and not used once in his acceptance speech. Absolutely was effective, apparently, in helping him reach the White House. Now that he has been elected, perhaps the future seems a trifle less absolute.

There are more examples of the overuse of this word than I could ever post here, but I'll be looking out for more of them.

If like me, you have become tired of the overuse, misuse and possible abuse of the word absolutely, send me the examples you find and together we can collect and post them here for our mutual amusement and some light-hearted edification.